I should have started this blog months ago, back when I left my job. A way to remember the journey I find myself on and the struggles along the way. I can only hope this journey leads somewhere worthwhile, far away from the depression and anger I have felt over the past few months.
In March 2022, I left my job due to health hazards in the workplace. I wrote about it on Medium ("How OSHA Cost Me My Job"), where I often post opinions and stories. With every surrounding business desperately seeking workers, I figured it would not be long before I found a new job. A better job; one without safety concerns or toxins damaging my health. I was wrong.
Even with the "Now Hiring" signs everywhere and the "Urgently Hiring" tags on Indeed job listings, I have been unable to find a new job. My search is made more complicated by my own health issues: I cannot drive and have chronic knee pain, a permanent reminder of what we can only guess was Lyme Disease.
Whether my knee pain is ligament damage, as an orthopedic specialist suspected, or is some sort of arthritis, I do not know. I only know that the instructions of "diet and exercise" along with assigned physical therapy have done nothing to help my situation and have actually made the pain worse. Now my knee hurts to the touch rather than just after exercise, even when doing something as simple as shaving.
Though I am technically eligible for Pennsylvania Unemployment since I left my job for health reasons, I have yet to see a cent from them. My claim has been held up by my young sole-proprietor business that maybe profits forty dollars a month and my attempts to work freelance that have amounted to less than twenty dollars a week. Hardly enough to live on.
I have applied to 106 positions since leaving my job on March 4, 2022. That might not sound like a lot, but in the small town where I live, surrounded by warehouse jobs that I am physically unable of performing, 106 is a lot of jobs. The number would be higher had I continued applying as aggressively as I did in the beginning. May was when my weekly application numbers dropped off, sinking into a deep depression fueled by my inability to support my family.
Not that there were many jobs left to which I could apply. I reached a point where I was applying to the same jobs and applied to jobs where I did not meet the qualifications. I was desperate for work I could physically do. I still am.
I have nowhere else to apply, exhausting every job opportunity that pops up in my area. I had hoped to find a work-from-home position, but sadly I have not managed to snag one. Most of what I have seen are phone sales, which is not something I can do without getting fired. I despise talking on the phone almost as much as my anxiety fears it. Without body language to guide me, it is an awkward conversation that leaves me feeling frustrated. Still, the ones I did apply to either ignored me or emailed me to say they were not interested.
Of the non-phone sales work-from-home jobs, I still only meet the requirements for maybe a quarter of them, and of those, I have either been turned down or never heard back. Since mid-May, I apply to two to four jobs a week on average, though last week was my highest number in a few weeks. My average was much higher before my depression took over...and before I ran out of jobs to which I could apply.
Pennsylvania CareerLink also held me back, with such limited job listings. My average application numbers increased when I went back to Indeed for most of my work searches, although I do check CareerLink now and then. Perhaps those who push CareerLink have never actually used it to find non-professional jobs. There are plenty of nursing and construction jobs there, but hardly any for those of us unable to work in either field. I hardly think anyone wants a former retail store manager with no medical training to stick a needle in their arm, and I certainly don't want anything to do with that squeamish job. I give praise to those who can do that for a living.
It is extremely frustrating to be unable to get a job when so many companies claim they cannot find workers. Even with over 15 years of retail experience, I am not good enough for many employers. I had a few possibilities along the way, none of which have worked out, including the job I supposedly got, but there was no job available, so I could not continue with the onboarding and was left irritated and back where I started.
This endless search continues...
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